It is always better to seek an informal resolution with the person you are having difficulties with, if possible. In informal resolution, means that efforts are made to solve the issue without it being recorded, and without following formal procedures.
Informal resolutions are often best, because they offer the opportunity to potentially resolve the situation quickly and easily.
There are three ways to go about it:
- Speak to the Bully
In most cases, speaking with the person directly yourself to communicate that there is a problem is the best way to resolve the issue. Speaking to the person directly helps establish that this behaviour will not continue, and where you stand on it.
Here is what you need to make sure before approaching the bully for a conversation:
- Arrange for someone to come along for support if needed – for instance, a manager can still be there to support, if it makes you feel more comfortable
- Have a clear intention of what you want from the discussion
- Choose an appropriate time and place for the talk
You must also keep in mind to be firm but not aggressive, stay positive and calm, stick to the facts, and avoid using emotional or judgemental language. Be prepared to discuss what happened even if it is embarrassing and clearly state that you want the behaviour to stop because it causes you distress.
Leave when finished, and always keep a record of the discussion.
- Write the Bully or Harasser a Letter
If you do not want to talk to the bully or harasser, you can also send an email or letter. If you decide to write the bully or harasser, you should communicate exactly what the person did, when and where it happened, how it made you feel and that you want this behaviour to stop. You should also communicate that if it does not stop, you will use formal procedures.
- Using Mediation
You may also have the option of mediation to resolve bullying or harassment. In mediation a third party helps those involved in the problem find an agreeable solution.
Mediators can be internal, appointed from within the organisation, or externally hired.
If you are using mediation, remember:
- Mediation is voluntary for everyone involved
- The mediator does not take sides, but will do their best to assist you
- Mediation can be an excellent way to solve problems when you cannot reach an agreement on your own